23-year-old single mom of a 1-year-old refuses to take in her friend's 1, 3, and 7-year-old kids after they get taken away by CPS: 'She insinuated that if her kids got placed with the state, it would basically be my fault'

She can't house four children; she's barely hanging on with her own baby.

If you've ever been on an airplane, you know that in case of an emergency, you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. That might seem like intuitive instructions, but many people instinctively help others before ensuring they're okay first. It's drilled into parents that they need to put their kids before themselves at every juncture, and that's not always the best practice. A mother can't be the best mother to her child if she is not taking care of herself, and making self-care a priority is a lot easier said than done.

There's a famous quote about putting your own house in order, which can be interpreted in many different ways. I think one helpful interpretation is that you really can't help someone else with something you haven't mastered yourself. You can't feed your neighbor if you don't know where your next meal comes from, and that's not selfish. It is basic self-preservation. If you offer to babysit your sister's kids when you're on the verge of breaking down from the stress of caring for your own kid, that act of service is going to do more harm than good to everyone involved.

Am I the bad guy for not taking my friends kids when CPS asked me to?

via u/Jolly-Carob4482
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The young mom in this story is struggling to stay afloat. She can't bear to take on more responsibility than she already has, but that won't stop her friend from asking her to take in her three kids.
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